black star of darkness

I like this as you can feel the emotion really well- however this just seems to be a random poem with no many ideas expanded upon. If you expanded upon ...

This was inspired by the song Lie,Lie,Lie by Serj Tankian- Enjoy" Lie to me, spin me a tale, Avoid the question completetly. Just dont tell me the truth 'Cos I ...

This is pretty good, I like the way you went from liking to almost hating, emphasing it. The rhythm/structure wasnt quite there, but hu care? :)

Name- Torok Speices- Dwarf, a Neoo Age- 65 Hair Colour- Brown Eye colour- Dark Blue Personality (and a bit of a lifestory)- Gruff, a very blinkered dwarf who thinks that ...

As i have said before, more than twice now, if anybody will listen to me, this is a poem I wrote a year ago in school, so I don't need ...

To clarify: This was meant to be about a person looking into their life, so technically it is the same person but they are removed from their life. So both ...

There is a window, Upon a wall. A window, coloured green and red, A perfect square. On one side of this window, There is a child, Perfectly happy, surrounded by ...

I like this poem as it flows smoothly like a raindrop down to earth, ending with a final word, in this case, plop. However, this may have been already mentioned, ...

I like this as it accurately describes fear It does need a bit of work on the overall feel of it though, as it is a draft. Finish the whole ...

Guys I have had a mixed response to this poem and I'd like to re-iterate that this was written a year ago AT SCHOOL, and so it is nothing like ...

Guys I have had a mixed response to this poem and I'd like to re-iterate that this was written a year ago AT SCHOOL, and so it is nothing like ...

This a poem I wrote a year ago for my art lesson on emotion Tell me what you think of it guys... D ark clouds encircle my life, E verybody ...

I like this although I am not too sure why. I think it is the repition that does it for me personally, plus the way you have used your words ...

Yeah I agree you have no idea over anything regarding his parents etc. And Horowitz wants a too-nice ending for Alex so the story involves more and more dramatic escapes, ...

Okay thank you for your help I shall change it in accordance with the suggestions that you have made and re-post the updated version.